that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
