i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
How's work?
Spinning.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
