I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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