dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
In America we eat man semen.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize