do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
