I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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