Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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