that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
