I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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