It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
