i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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