Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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