someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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