He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
