wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
