there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
