she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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