I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dick very happy bro
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
