my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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