hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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