brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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