its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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