cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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