Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
