im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
