So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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