I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Hippo gnu deer
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
