This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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