I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
