Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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