Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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