I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
