So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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