Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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