Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The beer is more important than you right now.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize