i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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