Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
