how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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