Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
