Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
