next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
