its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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