So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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