wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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