On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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