my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
