Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
