I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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