So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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