There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Terrible idea I love it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
