70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
