life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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