She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
