soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize