we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
