Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I've blown a few things in my day
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
