well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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