He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
