Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
