Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
