Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
