This girl is more easily done than said...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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