dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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