Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I bet he comes in French.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
