So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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