I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
