Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize