My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize