Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
