..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
