i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
