So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
