you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize