My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Randomize
