I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize