Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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