conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
