I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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