My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
