No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
