so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We talked him into tasing himself.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
