I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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