people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
