woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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