I feel like abortions should bother me more
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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