It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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